Kristine Kimmel

Please don’t bother me, I’m very busy googling “dogs that look like famous people.”

Please don’t bother me, I’m very busy googling “dogs that look like famous people.”

I saw Nikki Sixx at Jamba Juice.  I didn’t care for it. 
Why is Nikki Sixx, the LEGENDARY bass player of Motley Crue buying his own Jamba Juice? Can’t he get a roadie to do that for him?  I don’t want to think about Nikki Sixx out in the sunlight doing regular person stuff like getting ink for his printer, shopping for an orthopedic pillow or returning overdue library books.
Those are just some things I did today. 
 If Nikki Sixx leaves his CASTLE during the day it should only be for a trip to the methadone clinic. 
 And it better be raining.

I saw Nikki Sixx at Jamba Juice.  I didn’t care for it. 

Why is Nikki Sixx, the LEGENDARY bass player of Motley Crue buying his own Jamba Juice? Can’t he get a roadie to do that for him?  I don’t want to think about Nikki Sixx out in the sunlight doing regular person stuff like getting ink for his printer, shopping for an orthopedic pillow or returning overdue library books.

Those are just some things I did today. 

 If Nikki Sixx leaves his CASTLE during the day it should only be for a trip to the methadone clinic. 

 And it better be raining.

My Serial Killer

If I’m ever brutally murdered, I just hope it’s not a serial killer. 

 I want it to be special for both of us. 

I don’t want to be just another head in some guy’s freezer.  This is my murder we’re talking about! it’s only going to happen to me once. 

 It shouldn’t be so second nature for the guy that he’s distracted from the task at hand.  The last thing I want while I’m being bludgeoned is for the guy to be lost in his own thoughts- “Ah man, did I forget to tivo Monk?  Dammit, I think I did!  Jeez this girl is taking forever to die….a Jamba Juice sounds good.”